In this blog I attempt to talk about the institution of marriage, not that I claim to be an expert but in my culture it’s something that we are groomed for since the day we are born so in that sense I could fall into the category of knowing a little about the subject.
With more and more people remaining single longer and more people being independent. Society is evolving, marriage is not viewed as it was. This blogs explores the idea whether marriage is a necessity in modern life and for a happy life. How you view marriage will be dependent on many factors , some of which could include the first hand experience you have had at witnessing a marriage. For most of us this would be our parents marriage, depending on the quality of this relationship, you will have formed unconscious ideas of what marriage is about.
Although I talk about marriage, I also include long term relationships and co-habiting in this phrase. This article is not written to judge a situation or backgrounds is more an exploration of how marriage is impacted by spirituality and how it all fits into the spectrum of your spiritual development if at all?
Does being in a relationship impede or aid spiritual growth? Some may argue that relationships take time, commitment and a lot of hard work. This energy could be spent elsewhere ie progressing up a rung on the spiritual ladder. Some would point out examples of sadhus and gurus who seek out exile in order to work on themselves. They cut themselves off from any forms of attachment, so that they can devote all their time and energy on their higher selves and god. Do relationships tie up the soul into worrying and thinking about another person when they should really be focusing on their relationship with god? Many religions have celibacy as a pre-requisite for joining. However, is this going against the instincts of humans wanting to pro-create to carry our species forward. The human has a natural animal drive that has desires, is it dangerous to suppress what is innate in the human psyche? Or is it part of the lesson to learn to control ones urges. Humans have been given the ability to have sex and to pro-create so is it wrong to think otherwise?
There’s also a question of companionship, society seems to geared up by a chronological system , whereby everything has an unspoken deadline, by such and such age you should be married, by this time you should have a child etc, if you don’t follow these rules you tend to get left out and made to feel a little abnormal. It also natural for your peer group to grow and evolve , they all start to pair off and start a family. They ten d to get busy with their everyday lives and family , this is when reality and loneliness kicks in. We humans were made to be social creatures , we have been given the ability to talk and interact, it would be hard therefore to spend life without making emotional connections to people.
There are however people who devote themselves to god and that when loving god , they have enough love to fill their lives and do not need human relationships at all.
I personally believe like everything it boils down to personal choice but I believe that spiritual evolvement does not have to be mutually exclusive of a romantic relationship. I do think however that when choosing a partner that your goals and intentions have to marry and these need to be communicated very early on. Once you have an understanding of what both you want to achieve then it should be made easier by having someone there to support you , to encourage and push you forward. Life can be difficult and it helps for someone to be there to share the burden. For someone to share responsibilities to free up some of your time so you are able to pursue a more fulfilling life. Every day life can be very consuming and you can get caught up in the daily grind, if you have someone who wants to tread the same path as you , all the more better, you have someone to give you a nudge once in a while when either of you is veering off the path. Marriage and long term relationships may not be for everyone but they should not necessary be blocks in finding out who you are and your life purpose.
To be in a loving relationship, to have companionship, to have support and to have someone to hold your hand in life, all of this may just add rather than detract from to the fulfilment that everyone is ultimately seeking.
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